The results of physical domestic violence are simply recognizable. But the effects of psychological abuse are easily missed; not only by the victim, but also by mates, family and even health professionals round the victim.
This happens because cognizance of emotional abuse still lags way behind that of domestic violence. Too many folk still believe that: "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."
In actual fact words can be terribly damaging indeed. Particularly when the person that speaks them, over and over again. Is someone that you love dearly. Someone who is designed to love you. When that loved one constantly calls you "stupid", "ugly", and "worthless", he'll brainwash you into believing him. When he tells you you are a shitty partner, a useless parent (if applicable) and a useless human being, his judgement smashes your self confidence into 1,000 tiny pieces.
Most women that are in emotionally abusive relations are not even certain that the relationship is violent. They worry that their partner could be right and they may actually be to blame for everything. In most situations, they didn't have a clear sense of their own identity before they met their aggressive partner. The longer they stay with him, the less they know who they may be. So they become more and more inclined to believe his view about them, no matter how negative it is.
The thing abused girls don't get is this: the way they feel is a result of the psychological abuse. How they feel isn't who they truly are. They don't seem to be the person an abusive partner tells them they are.
Hence what are the commonest results of mental abuse on the woman in an aggressive relationship?
She becomes depersonalized. She loses sight of her of her very own identity, and her reality. She'll be highly competent in the external world, yet accept that she is the total incompetent an aggressive partner tells her that she is. Observed from the outside, she may look emotionally 'flat ', or lifeless. She lacks enthusiasm, and verve. She doesn't giggle often.
She becomes increasingly isolated. Over the course of time she's going to be less and less available, physically and emotionally, to loved ones. She's withdrawn and defensive. She is unlikely to share much private information, and will generally say little about her partner. You will get the sensation that she's always holding back.
She is depressed. At least, that's the label that health executives will, most likely, attach to her. In fact , she's suffering with despair and dejection. She spends her life trying, singlehandedly, to save a relationship her partner is determined to destroy.
She is her very own harshest critic . She has nothing good to say of herself. Her self-worth "which might have been fragile in the 1st place "has been shot to pieces by her partner's continuing verbal assaults. She always assumes that everything is her fault.
She is demotivated: her energy, drive, and enthusiasm have all been crushed by living in an emotional war area. One reason why she stays is that she does not have the drive to form a higher quality life for herself. She does not believe she can have a more enjoyable life.
She is always concerned and alarmed. She's pathologically concerned about annoying people, beginning with her violent partner. She resides in an antagonistic world, where every mistake she makes will meet with punishment. So she will never relax. She needs to be watchful. And she mostly apologizes for everything and anything.
It's easy to judge the sufferers of emotional abuse. It is tougher to understand the fearful woman you see in front of you is simply injured. She is suffering the effects of psychological abuse. She's frozen by fear and unhappiness.
The consequences of psychological abuse don't end when you leave an aggressive relationship. The brainwashing remains, until you do the work of mental abuse recovery. When you do that work with a talented professional, who really understands the consequences of mental abuse, you will soon discover your identity, your worth, your happiness, and your energy. There really is Life after an aggressive relationship.
This happens because cognizance of emotional abuse still lags way behind that of domestic violence. Too many folk still believe that: "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."
In actual fact words can be terribly damaging indeed. Particularly when the person that speaks them, over and over again. Is someone that you love dearly. Someone who is designed to love you. When that loved one constantly calls you "stupid", "ugly", and "worthless", he'll brainwash you into believing him. When he tells you you are a shitty partner, a useless parent (if applicable) and a useless human being, his judgement smashes your self confidence into 1,000 tiny pieces.
Most women that are in emotionally abusive relations are not even certain that the relationship is violent. They worry that their partner could be right and they may actually be to blame for everything. In most situations, they didn't have a clear sense of their own identity before they met their aggressive partner. The longer they stay with him, the less they know who they may be. So they become more and more inclined to believe his view about them, no matter how negative it is.
The thing abused girls don't get is this: the way they feel is a result of the psychological abuse. How they feel isn't who they truly are. They don't seem to be the person an abusive partner tells them they are.
Hence what are the commonest results of mental abuse on the woman in an aggressive relationship?
She becomes depersonalized. She loses sight of her of her very own identity, and her reality. She'll be highly competent in the external world, yet accept that she is the total incompetent an aggressive partner tells her that she is. Observed from the outside, she may look emotionally 'flat ', or lifeless. She lacks enthusiasm, and verve. She doesn't giggle often.
She becomes increasingly isolated. Over the course of time she's going to be less and less available, physically and emotionally, to loved ones. She's withdrawn and defensive. She is unlikely to share much private information, and will generally say little about her partner. You will get the sensation that she's always holding back.
She is depressed. At least, that's the label that health executives will, most likely, attach to her. In fact , she's suffering with despair and dejection. She spends her life trying, singlehandedly, to save a relationship her partner is determined to destroy.
She is her very own harshest critic . She has nothing good to say of herself. Her self-worth "which might have been fragile in the 1st place "has been shot to pieces by her partner's continuing verbal assaults. She always assumes that everything is her fault.
She is demotivated: her energy, drive, and enthusiasm have all been crushed by living in an emotional war area. One reason why she stays is that she does not have the drive to form a higher quality life for herself. She does not believe she can have a more enjoyable life.
She is always concerned and alarmed. She's pathologically concerned about annoying people, beginning with her violent partner. She resides in an antagonistic world, where every mistake she makes will meet with punishment. So she will never relax. She needs to be watchful. And she mostly apologizes for everything and anything.
It's easy to judge the sufferers of emotional abuse. It is tougher to understand the fearful woman you see in front of you is simply injured. She is suffering the effects of psychological abuse. She's frozen by fear and unhappiness.
The consequences of psychological abuse don't end when you leave an aggressive relationship. The brainwashing remains, until you do the work of mental abuse recovery. When you do that work with a talented professional, who really understands the consequences of mental abuse, you will soon discover your identity, your worth, your happiness, and your energy. There really is Life after an aggressive relationship.
About the Author:
Dr Annie Kaszina Ph.D. is a
Women̢۪s Emotional Abuse Recovery Specialist, who is committed to helping women
overcome the effects of emotional abuse. Visit http://recoverfromemotionalabuse.com for more information or get your free copy of “The Secret Dictionary Of Abusive Men†here: http://recoverfromemotionalabuse.com/go/secret1/
Women̢۪s Emotional Abuse Recovery Specialist, who is committed to helping women
overcome the effects of emotional abuse. Visit http://recoverfromemotionalabuse.com for more information or get your free copy of “The Secret Dictionary Of Abusive Men†here: http://recoverfromemotionalabuse.com/go/secret1/
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