We each have these critical moments that we reach in our lives. Often, for some, it occurs sometime sooner than later. For others...it takes years upon many years to reach that place. But we all reach that place. We all come to a single point where we all truly know, inside the depths of our hearts, that things must change. This wish for change is like nothing you've ever experienced before. There's a different type of energy to it. There's a different feeling to it altogether.
You should do the most scary thing you will ever do - face your grandest nightmare...yourself.
My moment arrived in late 2011 and it was not by choice. I can remember standing in that flat, hearing words that I would not forget, and literally watching myself from above crumble. I changed everything about myself in that minute. I compromised. I did anything and everything I could. In the end, I won't forget that sense of turning to ashes. It wasn't the instant that did it, no, that was just the match. It was really the entire stacking up of dry leaves and hay from years and years of neglect...and that little match was everything in took to spark something that would redefine me from that moment on.
That was only the start, a week later, it reached its low point. Absolutely rock-bottom. I made a request to the heavens in that wretched black dark room, it fortunately wasn't granted, and I awakened the day after looking at a crumbled landscape...with the knowledge that I could rebuild my entire world the way in which I wanted it.
But I would need to face myself.
More importantly, I would have to burn everything down that I ever supported myself with. I would learn the way to support myself for once, to not blame everything on others, to be fully responsible for my whole life, and to ultimately let everything that was locked up and caged in me out. It had to all come out.
You see, when you build walls to keep things out, you also build walls to keep the wonderful things in you from ever reaching any person out there looking to love you. Love was walled in...hurt was walled out. Agony was kept away from me...joy stayed covered under the dust. I ran from fear...so my certainty and grounding ran from my life like the plague. I had to tear everything down. I had to tear my ego down. I had to tear down my projections. I had to rip apart everything and start over completely.
I did exactly that. I started writing. I started being fair about what was going on with me. I built everything back, stone by stone on a different foundation. My backbone and my heart would be the dense iron place from which I would create.
What I realized on the way was this - those places you are frightened to go, here's where your nightmare lives. It crawls around in that space. It's this thick dark leaking type of agony that may shock you to death. It frightens you because it makes you think that if you go there you will get caught in it and drown. The truth of the matter is, that's where your strength is. There's unthinkable amounts of strength in going there. Just as there is strength in great faith and light, there's equal massive amounts of strength in going to the place that ravishes your heart with fear...and yet when you go through those places you develop this kind of belief in yourself that's beyond confidence. It's the sort of feeling that you know that everything around you could eventually be demolished, and you could build it all back no matter the situation.
Power.
Actual power.
"Take from me everything world, and I'm going to come back and build it back better...and irrespective of how you challenge me...I will absolutely continue to shine. "
Face your scariest nightmare. Face your fears. You don't have to be afraid to let everything go for the chance to build it back better. Want love in your life? You really are going to have to let go of everything on the opposite end that's hindering you. You really are going to have to dive deep into the depths of your soul, lantern in hand, without the conquering blade. No armour. No weapon. No effort to rise up above it.
You should go in exposed and fully exposed.
You'll come out. You may cry, suffer, and hurt...but you'll come out. I'd never tell you to go anywhere that you couldn't actually come out of. I assure you, this is the one place you should go for everything to release. To build something new, to begin to live the grandest journey you might ever live...you have to go here. The shadows. The depths. The darkness.
I can assure you...this place, is where life really begins.
You should do the most scary thing you will ever do - face your grandest nightmare...yourself.
My moment arrived in late 2011 and it was not by choice. I can remember standing in that flat, hearing words that I would not forget, and literally watching myself from above crumble. I changed everything about myself in that minute. I compromised. I did anything and everything I could. In the end, I won't forget that sense of turning to ashes. It wasn't the instant that did it, no, that was just the match. It was really the entire stacking up of dry leaves and hay from years and years of neglect...and that little match was everything in took to spark something that would redefine me from that moment on.
That was only the start, a week later, it reached its low point. Absolutely rock-bottom. I made a request to the heavens in that wretched black dark room, it fortunately wasn't granted, and I awakened the day after looking at a crumbled landscape...with the knowledge that I could rebuild my entire world the way in which I wanted it.
But I would need to face myself.
More importantly, I would have to burn everything down that I ever supported myself with. I would learn the way to support myself for once, to not blame everything on others, to be fully responsible for my whole life, and to ultimately let everything that was locked up and caged in me out. It had to all come out.
You see, when you build walls to keep things out, you also build walls to keep the wonderful things in you from ever reaching any person out there looking to love you. Love was walled in...hurt was walled out. Agony was kept away from me...joy stayed covered under the dust. I ran from fear...so my certainty and grounding ran from my life like the plague. I had to tear everything down. I had to tear my ego down. I had to tear down my projections. I had to rip apart everything and start over completely.
I did exactly that. I started writing. I started being fair about what was going on with me. I built everything back, stone by stone on a different foundation. My backbone and my heart would be the dense iron place from which I would create.
What I realized on the way was this - those places you are frightened to go, here's where your nightmare lives. It crawls around in that space. It's this thick dark leaking type of agony that may shock you to death. It frightens you because it makes you think that if you go there you will get caught in it and drown. The truth of the matter is, that's where your strength is. There's unthinkable amounts of strength in going there. Just as there is strength in great faith and light, there's equal massive amounts of strength in going to the place that ravishes your heart with fear...and yet when you go through those places you develop this kind of belief in yourself that's beyond confidence. It's the sort of feeling that you know that everything around you could eventually be demolished, and you could build it all back no matter the situation.
Power.
Actual power.
"Take from me everything world, and I'm going to come back and build it back better...and irrespective of how you challenge me...I will absolutely continue to shine. "
Face your scariest nightmare. Face your fears. You don't have to be afraid to let everything go for the chance to build it back better. Want love in your life? You really are going to have to let go of everything on the opposite end that's hindering you. You really are going to have to dive deep into the depths of your soul, lantern in hand, without the conquering blade. No armour. No weapon. No effort to rise up above it.
You should go in exposed and fully exposed.
You'll come out. You may cry, suffer, and hurt...but you'll come out. I'd never tell you to go anywhere that you couldn't actually come out of. I assure you, this is the one place you should go for everything to release. To build something new, to begin to live the grandest journey you might ever live...you have to go here. The shadows. The depths. The darkness.
I can assure you...this place, is where life really begins.
About the Author:
Evan Sanders is the author of The Words Of Encouragement, a website dedicated to bringing the best quotes, motivational content on the web, and blogs all to one place. Need some more motivation and encouragement to keep moving forward? Dig into these life is too short quotes for a little bit of perspective on why you should drag yourself out of the darkness.
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