"Emotion can be the enemy. If you give in to your emotion, you lose yourself. You must be at one with your emotions because the body always follows the mind." Those are the words of legendary martial artist, Bruce Lee.
Emotions are arguably the most powerful force governing our behavior. Emotions are the guardians of your well-being. They are your friends and their primary objective is to ensure survival.
Do you remember the old adage, "With friends like these, who needs enemies?" That couldn't ring more true than when it comes to emotions.
I'm sure you already know that, when left untamed, your basic emotions (anger, joy, disgust, surprise, distress, and fear) would cause you to fight first and ask questions later. Or run first and ask questions later. This is phenomenon known as the Flight or Fight Response.
On an equally detrimental, but sometimes lighter note, emotions will have you shouting, crying, or jumping to conclusions first and asking questions later. Believe it or not all of this is done in the name of survival.
Initially, your body responds to a psychological attack (i.e. insults) in the same manner it would a physical threat. This is especially true in the heat of the moment. Think about that.
Although they are supposed to be our friends, emotions frequently leave us in a world of trouble. Why? The answer is simple.
We are designed for survival, not diplomacy.
For countless generations, the emotional brain, also known as the limbic system, has been doing what it does best: keeping us out of harms way. Then along comes the neocortex, the logical brain, to make things much complex.
Today, people know that if they don't want to deal with the consequences of physically attacking another person, an insult will often do the trick. Although it's not a physical attack, the other person's emotional brain still recognizes the bad intentions and Flight or Fight Response kicks in.
If you aren't careful, all of a sudden your friends could become your enemies. It takes 3-5 seconds for the chemicals that produce emotions to flood your system producing what is often referred to as an emotional hijacking.
In life and death situations that call for immediate action an emotional hijacking might save your life. (Think about jumping out of the way of a moving car.)
At work, however, an emotional hijacking might cost you your job. It might cost you a deal, undermine a negotiation, or ruin a relationship.
Therefore the age-old advice about counting to ten before you respond has an equal amount of science and common sense behind it. It gives you a chance to use your logical brain.
So, if you ever feel a wave of emotions flooding your system, pause and do your best access your neocortex. Leading expert on developing Emotional Intelligence--Joshua Freeman, calls it the "six second pause."
For most people, it's better to take the four additional seconds just to be sure. Impulsive behavior is nothing to play with. It can be costly.
When I was growing up my mom used to always say to me, "Al, don't let your friends get you in trouble."
Mom, you never told me that you were talking about my emotions.
Emotions are arguably the most powerful force governing our behavior. Emotions are the guardians of your well-being. They are your friends and their primary objective is to ensure survival.
Do you remember the old adage, "With friends like these, who needs enemies?" That couldn't ring more true than when it comes to emotions.
I'm sure you already know that, when left untamed, your basic emotions (anger, joy, disgust, surprise, distress, and fear) would cause you to fight first and ask questions later. Or run first and ask questions later. This is phenomenon known as the Flight or Fight Response.
On an equally detrimental, but sometimes lighter note, emotions will have you shouting, crying, or jumping to conclusions first and asking questions later. Believe it or not all of this is done in the name of survival.
Initially, your body responds to a psychological attack (i.e. insults) in the same manner it would a physical threat. This is especially true in the heat of the moment. Think about that.
Although they are supposed to be our friends, emotions frequently leave us in a world of trouble. Why? The answer is simple.
We are designed for survival, not diplomacy.
For countless generations, the emotional brain, also known as the limbic system, has been doing what it does best: keeping us out of harms way. Then along comes the neocortex, the logical brain, to make things much complex.
Today, people know that if they don't want to deal with the consequences of physically attacking another person, an insult will often do the trick. Although it's not a physical attack, the other person's emotional brain still recognizes the bad intentions and Flight or Fight Response kicks in.
If you aren't careful, all of a sudden your friends could become your enemies. It takes 3-5 seconds for the chemicals that produce emotions to flood your system producing what is often referred to as an emotional hijacking.
In life and death situations that call for immediate action an emotional hijacking might save your life. (Think about jumping out of the way of a moving car.)
At work, however, an emotional hijacking might cost you your job. It might cost you a deal, undermine a negotiation, or ruin a relationship.
Therefore the age-old advice about counting to ten before you respond has an equal amount of science and common sense behind it. It gives you a chance to use your logical brain.
So, if you ever feel a wave of emotions flooding your system, pause and do your best access your neocortex. Leading expert on developing Emotional Intelligence--Joshua Freeman, calls it the "six second pause."
For most people, it's better to take the four additional seconds just to be sure. Impulsive behavior is nothing to play with. It can be costly.
When I was growing up my mom used to always say to me, "Al, don't let your friends get you in trouble."
Mom, you never told me that you were talking about my emotions.
About the Author:
Who else is looking for a fun, engaging and inspiring college speaker? Then visit his site to find out about how Al Duncan, one of the world's leading college speakers can help people build a competitive advantage in the 21st Century.
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