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How To Cope With Disappointment

By Hal Neff


Everybody encounters disappointments in life, both big and small. Sad to say, many of us tend to complain and whine about our own problems to the tremendous discomfort of some people.

It's important to recognize our disappointments and not just ignore them, but how can we do it effectively without being a nag to others? The answer lies in learning constructive ways to acknowledge disappointments.

* Disappointment can develop character and patience if you allow it to. Learning how to deal with your disappointments constructively will make you a better person in the end.

Handling Disappointment

The first thing you must do in learning to cope with disappointment is recognize your own old dealing strategies. Everyone has them. Do you reach for the pint of ice cream or withdraw in a room all alone? Do you get intoxicated and try to forget?

Once you understand that your old strategy is not working, it is time to develop a fresh one.

Here are A few tips for successfully coping with your disappointments:

1 . Acknowledge what you are feeling. You can honestly express the emotions you feel without blaming or punishing other individuals. This is about how you feel about the situation, not others. Articulate your feelings without attacking other people. Always be respectful, but do not be frightened to let them know how you feel.

* There is not a correct or incorrect approach to feel. Your feelings are valid and if you do not voice out your opinion then you will harbor bitterness and stress yourself out. Be straightforward with yourself about how you really feel about the problem.

2 . Put things in perspective. Even little disappointments can seem monumental at first. But once you have expressed your pain, frustration, or fury, step back and look at the bigger picture. How much of an effect is this disappointment likely to have on you tomorrow, next week, or next year?

* Take a breath and go for a walk to put your disappointment into perspective. Taking time to reflect and step away from the situation will help calm your nerves so you will be much better able to handle the disappointment.

3. Refuse to doubt yourself. Sometimes disappointment will make you feel like a failure. You may ask yourself why these things happen to you or you may think you were dumb to get your hopes up in the first place. However none of that is the truth. Don't allow yourself to give in to these negative thoughts!

*Disappointment is not exceptional to you. Everyone has been disappointed at some point in their life. Instead of getting down on yourself, think about what could have been done differently and learn from the experience.

4. Search for a solution or bargain. You can't have your way all the time but sometimes there might be a second option that's agreeable to each party.

* Take a few deep breaths, relax, and look for the "silver lining. " It's possible to find something good in about any situation.

5. Reevaluate and create changes if necessary. Sometimes when we encounter disappointment, it might be a sign that we need to re-examine our priorities. Depending on the level of disappointment you're dealing with, you might need to make minor or major changes to your life.

* Learn to be adaptable. Refocusing your own attention on your new goals will help you forget about your disappointment.

Don't Give Up

Anyone who has had even a small level of success in life has encountered disappointments.

* Winners just don't quit. They learn from their downfalls and disappointments and continue to achieve their goals.

You could be your own greatest motivator! Do not underestimate the strength of encouraging yourself by saying, "I can do this. I will make it. I will get through this and be a better person!"

You do not need to enable disappointment to reduce your self-confidence. That's not to say that you need to gloss over your feeling, you could simply learn to handle your disappointments successfully, then move on to bigger and better things.




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