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Oh That Little Devil Within

By Evan Sanders

I hear you little devil within.

Can you make yourself known? When the switch flips south and light exits the room you attack my thoughts without mercy. Your resolve and will is ideal. You drive your ambitions deep into my soul. And there I am, the monster inside playing around within me like a wrecking ball. You exist in all of my doubt about life and tear me apart the more I try to run from you.

I'm no longer going to fight.

Does this confuse you? Does this make you weep at the thought of the grip you once had that exists no longer? You held onto me so strong and so tight due to my disability to see that the battle increased your strength. Like quicksand I sunk the more that I moved. But like I claimed before, I embrace the darkness now.

A lot has changed.

Oh how my life has changed. Before I would have run from you time and time again. Now, I'm going to embrace you warmly and try to understand what you are looking to teach me. Sure you have an interesting way of trying to pass on lessons, but I will get creative myself.

You did some serious damage to me in my old life. But now, I have taken control of who I am. I've taken control of how I'm going to respond to all of your ridiculous questioning, demands, and negativity. You owned me from time to time, but now it's time for me to show compassion towards you.

How proud are you? How much fun did you have? Are you pleased with your accomplishments? Maybe I can even clap to your success?

We are stating something new together. We are going to go in a completely different direction than before. You had your time with me and now it's my time to run you. How am I going to do this? Well how about you just find out? But it's not going to be even close to the ways from before.

So let's go for a walk. I would like to hear what you have to say.

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