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Willpower Killers: How To Increase Your Willpower And Make Yourself Happier In The Process

By Buffy Greentree


Willpower takes over when motivation and enthusiasm have worn off. It is willpower that gets you going for a run when your muscles are aching and its cold outside, willpower that sees you through the completion of writing a book when you know where it's going and how it's going to end. Willpower that enables you to not reach for the block of chocolate again and again til it's gone. In order to maximise your willpower, and your use of it, it's important to understand that it can be drained away and used up by meaningless things.

These are the times when you have stretched, strained, used, drained, soaked up, dried up and generally bailed out your willpower. The saddest thing is that you probably didn't even spend it on anything good. So let us look at where willpower can go, and how we can plug up these holes to maintain a steady stream of it throughout the day.

There are three major willpower leaches. The Big Three destroyers: Hunger - Sleep Deprivation - Stress

Hunger

How many times have you been told to stay away from shopping when you're hungry? It's based on our complete inability to resist every bad food that leaps into the trolley, because hunger kills willpower If you rationalised it you would realise that if you ate that, and that, and the other thing in there right now, all at this moment, you would explode. But all you can here is your stomach, and your brain is curled in a corner, hugging said stomach, "Moaaare! More food!"

That hunger results in decreasing your willpower regarding food makes sense - food cravings after all are directly related to hunger. But hunger takes away your willpower to do other things as well. It affects concentration, mood (hungry angry!) and your general ability to think about anything that isn't food. Mothers know when a baby is hungry, because they start getting fussy and throwing temper tantrums. Just because we've grown up a bit doesn't mean our bodies can handle being hungry.

If you have plenty of sleep and are not stressed, you might be able to battle through hunger. If you're planning on going on any severe diet, do everything you can to keep the other two Willpower Destroyers satiated. However, why make things more difficult for yourself than you have to? Make sure you eat sensible meals at regular times. Before you sit down to work, have a small but nutritious snack so your hunger will curl up and go to sleep, leaving you in peace for a while.

Sleep Deprivation

By now, with all the attention it has received in magazines and self-help books, someone has surely told you that you need more sleep. Yes, it is very individual, and there are some people out there who really do only need four hours, but they live healthy lives on those four hours. For the rest of us, we generally need around eight hours of good quality sleep, and can need more in winter or at different times in our personal mood cycle.

The quality of sleep is important too. Good quality sleep cannot be overestimated. If you only do one thing to reenergise your creativity, joy and peace with life, look first to your sleeping habits. If you've had broken sleep for many years, you might think it is normal, but it's definitely worth taking the time and effort to improve it. You owe it to yourself, so think of this as part of your job requirement: get better sleep.

But some sad news for those who were already leaning over to tell their partner not to wake them before midday tomorrow: it's the hours before midnight that seem to do the most for people. Some people do appear to work well after midnight, but first let's check: are you waking up after eight hours of sleep feeling refreshed? It might be that you've just messed up your natural circadian rhythms, rather than being a true night owl. However, if you have a system that is working for you, or you have to have odd hours for work, don't let me interfere. I only offer food for thought.

Simple Steps For Better Sleep Hygiene

There are so many ways to improve sleep, and many focus on 'sleep hygiene'. Sleep hygiene instigates and maintains good sleep habits, and replaces bad habits which cause common sleeping problems. So, it is time to start retraining yourself to get the most out of a night's shut-eye.

Here are five practical tips you can put into practice immediately, and build into good habits (more can be found in my book "The Five Day Writer's Retreat").

1. Train your body clock. Your body likes consistency over a 24 hour period, and it's really good at getting into habits if you'll let it. So do yourself a favour and always try to go to bed at the same time and get up around the same time. Your body will get used to unwinding in time and will be ready to sleep when you are.

2. Cut off the light. When you go out into the country, one of the first things you notice is how extremely dark it is at night. There is a reason you can't see the stars as well in any built up area. This light can affect the quality of your sleep. Make sure you pull the blinds shut and don't have any blinking lights in your room. An easy way to do this, if viable, is to make your bedroom an electronics-free room, except for an alarm clock with a light you can't see. You don't really need to know the time, that's what the alarm is for!

3. Get rid of noise. It can be difficult to do much about this, but try to think of ways to reduce the noise in your room. Some people wear earplugs to help with this, but I understand that they can be uncomfortable, and don't really like them myself. (The only time I've used them religiously was when I was traveling with my parents and we shared a hotel room. My father's snoring is atrocious.) Which leads to the question of what to do with noisy partners. Well, if you have suggested and tried various snore-reducing steps, then you will either need earplugs, separate rooms, or just get used to it. My mother somehow did. So do whatever is within your power to reduce noise, but if it affects your relationships, maybe just learn to live with it. A good partner is difficult to come by, after all.

4. Sleep ritual - physical preparation. I'm a big believer in ritual, that is, instilling everyday actions with significance and using them as a marker of time. It is a great way to train your body to perform on cue. A regular bedtime ritual will help you to drift off peacefully and without much trouble. Things to focus on are the preparation of the body for sleep and then the mind. I was never one for nighttime showers, but they are starting to win me over. Slipping into bed all clean and warm is a fantastic thing. I recently read an article that also highly recommended that you give yourself a quick foot bath before you go to bed, to heat them up and reduce the aches of a long day. I haven't implemented this yet, but it sounds like good advice. Drinking warm milk can be comforting, and will stop you waking up in the night hungry (or does this only happen to me and in movies?). Following the same ritual each night will definitely help you get better sleep. The one drawback is that when you can't follow your ritual, it might be harder to get to sleep.

5. Sleep ritual - mental preparation. Along with getting your body ready for sleep, you can help the process a lot by also getting your mind ready. If you are regularly kept awake by thoughts swirling inside your head, you need to stop this. Effective steps include: writing down everything just before you go to bed, and separating out your 'to do' tasks from general worries. Then, my biggest tip is to take some time to memorise something beautiful. I know this sounds strange, but the process of memorisation is very calming to the mind; the slow repetition of words and the visualisation of what is being read. I use this time to memorise my Bible and think on its implications, but poetry would work the same, and would feed your Genius at the same time.

Stress

To our third, final, and by no means least of the Willpower Destroyers. We know that a little bit of stress can be a wonderful thing; it gives you that kick of energy before a deadline, it is what helps your fitness improve when you run, and kicks in your body's natural self-preservation instincts. However, on-going or high levels of stress are bad for so many reasons. And the worst thing is that we tend to encourage it in our lives, mistaking it for the benefit of good stress.

Reducing Stress

List what currently stresses you, from the big stressors to the little niggles. If the task seems difficult, put them under these headings: Work, Relationships, Home Environment, Personal, Finance. Try to be as specific as you can, narrowing it down to individuals or particular things. Defining a problem is a large part of overcoming it.

For example, under Work you might list: 'Dealing with client X makes me dread Tuesdays', or 'The way my computer keeps crashing and IT won't fix it.'

Relationships: 'I forgot to wish Susan happy birthday and still haven't contacted her.'

Home Environment: Even little things can make a difference, such 'I don't have anywhere to store the vacuum cleaner without everyone tripping over it.'

Personal: These are attitudes and thoughts that bring you stress, such as 'I committed to writing 200 words a day and haven't done anything', or 'My weight is slowly creeping further up and soon I'm going to be a balloon.'

Finance: Credit card debt can be an ongoing source of low-grade stress, as can a silent fight with a housemate over who should pay the excess on the phone bill, since neither of you made those calls!

List as many stressors as you can, then divide them into three types of stress: things you can do something about Now, things you should be able to change in the Future and things that Can't be changed. Then list them by how much they irritate you.

Deliberately work through the things you can change now and get rid of as many stressors as you can. Every month or so, update the list and keep working on it. Reducing stress in your life is one of the most effective ways you can increase your general happiness and productivity, so don't just let it slide! the rest of the night is (oh so forgettable) history.




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