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Just Three Short Steps you Can Take To Avoid Making Real Irishmen Angry On Saint Patrick's Day

By Paul Benjamin


Let's face it: as Americans, we have a long tradition of really messing up the traditions of our immigrants. Many come here to our country and bring thousands of years of culture with them that they, understandably, wish to hold onto. When we get hold of these traditions, we bend and twist them to American versions that only vaguely resemble what they once did. The Irish tradition of Saint Patrick's Day is a clear example of this. Once, this was a holiday that was strictly honored as a religious day. Now, it's a wild party with tons of young people all wearing festive Irish tee shirts and getting drunk on green beer. We need to at least try to honor this holiday and the Irish, and here are a few tips on how we can do just that.

You can wear your crazy Irish t shirts, but please have a little class about it. Yes, it is true that there is a terrible stereotype out there that the Irish are heavy drinkers. No, it is not alright to wear a shirt that makes fun of that stereotype. Do not be offensive to the people whom you are celebrating on Saint Patrick's Day. I find it distasteful and uncouth when I see drunk idiots wearing shirts about being drunk and being Irish. It's not appropriate. There are plenty of shirts out there that you can wear that are fun, but not offending.

Irish immigrants absolutely love our Irish pubs. Most big urban areas have several, and they serve more like community hubs than actual bars. Families go there to eat, old men go there to tell stories, and young men take their pretty girlfriends there for drinks and conversation. They for drinking beer slowly and enjoying your neighbors. They are not for Saint Patrick's Day, so please just run along to the other bars. Those establishments will be happy to have your business.

I live in a city with a small Irish population, but it seems like the party on Saint Patrick's Day never fails to spill out onto the streets. We have a large Catholic church right there in the middle of downtown. Every March 18th, I drive by and see the priest outside cleaning up debris from the passing mobs of "Irish" revelers. Well, I have some news...Saint Patrick's Day is a religious holiday, and when you throw your trash in the churchyard you are effectively throwing your trash at God's feet while being a drunk ass. Don't do this.

The Irish don't ask much in payment for taking our holiday from us, really. All we want is respect. If you can come have fun with us and have a few drinks while maintaining a level of respect for our culture, then we welcome you with open arms. If you're going to be just one more loud, drunken, irreverent punk...well, I hope you enjoy head butts for dinner. We'll be serving them up all night long at the pub I spend my time at. Wear your loud Irish tshirts and come have the time of your lives, just be civilized about it, won't you?




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