How to Gain Self-Confidence in 8 Steps

By Sharon R. Upchurch

How to gain confidence? Let's begin with focusing on what you have. Too many people always focus and complain on what they do not have. We all have a lot going for us if only we sit back and count our blessings. Start by focusing on what you have and your journey to gain confidence will begin on the right footing. You wouldn't need a counseling degree to understand these tips to improve your confidence.Self Belief.You are what you think. If you think you know nothing then you really know nothing. But if you take time to believe in yourself, no matter how challenging this task is to you then you are on to something. Self belief is very important especially in learning how to gain confidence. Our thoughts affects our feelings and it affects our actions.

You only need one thing when you go up the stage: confidence-an unaltered confidence. It's what makes your legs stop from trembling. It keeps your feet intact on the ground. It clears your mind for you to be able to concentrate on just the content of what you have to say. The dilemma right here is this: how are you going to gain that confidence?There are two kinds of public speaking you might be caught in. One is that kind in which you are given a period of time to prepare, such as guest speaker speech during a commencement exercise. The other kind is the speech in which you are caught off guarded, such as extemporaneous speeches or ambushed interviews.

Let's take the first kind first. Since you are given enough time to prepare for it, then you might as well take advantage of that time. Never take it for granted and start writing your speech at the last minute instead. A rushed speech will betray you of your confidence. The tendency is that, if you go unprepared, your mind will be rattled. And when your mind is as messed up as garbage, the words that will come out from you will be nothing but gibberish. You're definitely going to lose your audience. So if you want to turn on the other side of the table and make things right, organize your speech and do it well. Preparedness can make you confident. The reason is simple: you know what you're going to talk about beforehand. It's like showing your audience a painting you have worked hard for. You simply know your craft.

Avoid Toxic People.It's very important to avoid people who are cynical about your attempts at anything. Get away from critics who are just out to bring you down regardless of how hard you did something. For some reason or another, they savor the opportunity to see people achieve less or achieve nothing at all. As if that will make them look better.Gain Support.Just as important to avoid toxic people is to gain support for whatever you are doing. Surround yourself with good encouraging friends. Good friends are like sunshine, soil, fertilizers and water to the confidence seed you are growing.Make A To Do List.Commit to a few things you will do. There is no use reading an article on how to gain confidence if you do not have a plan and commit to it. Commit to gaining confidence. Have a few things you feel doable in the short term and be sure to do them. You want to create a "things you have done well" list. It acts as a confidence builder. They need not be super-duper goals. Just goals you feel good about. Then increase the next goal to be a little more challenging. As you do, achieving goals will become a habit and hence build confidence.Another way that has worked for me is to read motivating materials. It is my way of feeding my mind with positive things and also to know that I am not alone in my quest. Sometimes, no matter how you try to avoid toxic people, no matter how discipline, committed you are, some things will beat you down. Reading or listening to motivating material is like fuel for your quest to gain confidence.

Dress for success - This creates an inner awareness of being smart. By doing this, you have no fear of being judged by looking ugly. Therefore this enhances the way you carry yourself and the way you relate with the people around you, hence increasing your esteem. You do not have to go out and buy a new wardrobe. Go shopping and truly buy what you like and feel comfortable in. Personal hygene is also very important. Feeling clean and being confident are closely related.In every occasion, sit in the front row - Many people want to stay at the back because they have a fear inside themselves. Always motivate yourself to sit in the front row so that the fear of being noticed can go away. This way you can gain self-confidence very fast.

See my tips for building confidence and moving ahead,Sort out your finances.Financial issues seem to be a burden for many people at the moment. You can, however, control your cashflow and shake this weight off your shoulders. Start from controlling your budget. You may treat it as a game or a challenge so that it does not seem to you like you are actually cutting back. Prioritize your expenses and see where is it possible to save or at least spend less. The control of expenditure covers any possible extra income you may bring in. It may be overtime hours or an extra weekend/evening job.

All you need to do is alter your thoughts and views which in turn will turn your emotions and results around 180 degrees. But it's very difficult to do by yourself.You have been to five job interviews and failed to get the job on all occasions. Of course now you have a lack of self confidence and are starting to think negatively about the next job interview. You may start saying things like, "I'm a loser", "I'll never get a job", "I'm not good enough" and so on.Now it will be almost impossible for you to walk into the next job interview with optimistic expectations and be upbeat. Instead you will be thinking "why bother".Reading this now, I'm sure you will agree that it is all so obvious. But take yourself back to some similar situations that you have been in and remember that you too reacted in such a no hope attitude, shutting off the possibility of a positive outcome. It's very hard to turn it around by yourself!

Get the facts right.The media coverage of the crisis is often greatly exaggerated and distorted. It is important that you limit your news intake as they may cause nervousness and enforce general negative attitude. Do not let yourself be pushed into fear and despair. You cannot, however, live in ignorance and oblivion to the facts. Research past financial downturns - they have all been overcome and the global economy emerged even stronger and better. Take a lesson from history and think positively about current situation. This recession will pass. Use your own judgment and instincts to gain hope and confidence in a positive turnaround of the events.

Choose who you spend time with wisely.Happiness is contagious, surround yourself with genuine and constructive people and some of their attitude will rub off on you and influence you in a positive way. You may want to spend more time with family; you need each other's support and faith. Give yourself small breaks and do something that makes you happy: meet with friends, take a walk in the park, go to cinema or treat yourself to a small gift.

So all you have to do once they accept to help is,Make sure you are willing to listen, learn and change your points of view. All you want to achieve out of this is a snap out of your negative thoughts to alter your feeling as a confidence builder. It doesn't matter so much if they are right or not with whatever they say, just be open and willing to accept a fresh point of view to make this transition successful. It won't help at all if you are in denial and every time they say something that goes against your beliefs, you snap back at them saying they are wrong. Right and wrong does not matter right now. Getting you out of your emotional downtime is the only issue. Praise them like mad, but be genuine. That way, they will feel good, knowing that you really respect their time and words of advice and will be very willing to help you again should you fall into the same emotional downtime again.Don't forget, you are NOT alone when you feel the world is against you and you have no confidence. Go to your "coaches" and use them to pull you out of the emotional downtime and move on confidently.

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